Mommy Advice

Now that I am on the verge of having baby #2, I can't help but think back to when I was about to have my daughter. The fears, anxieties, and apprehensions were just a few of the various emotions I was feeling. And of course, the biggest question that almost every mother faces, "will I be a good mother?"

Here are just some things that I wish someone would have told me (some did, but I didn't listen) and some things that I would say to expectant mothers if they asked. Obviously, giving unsolicited "advice" in the forms of "you should always" and "you should never" is highly frowned upon. So, don't.

1.  Do your research, but don't let it dictate your every move. There is research to support almost every type of parenting choice. Arm yourself with some knowledge and then make the best informed decision based on that info. There is no one "correct style" so mix and match for your needs.

2.  Don't let anyone (including, and especially, yourself) make you feel guilty about your decisions. Mommy guilt is rampant!! It is overwhelming and a huge downer. Whatever you decide, just know that you are making the best decision for you, your baby, and your family. No guilt!!

3.  Go ahead and cry. Being a first time mother is HARD! Your body is going through tons of hormone changes and it is a lot to take in. It is perfectly okay to cry. Cry when your baby cries. Cry when your baby sleeps. Cry if you're lucky enough to take a shower. Then pull yourself together.

4.  Ask for help. You now belong to a secret group of women who have been there, done that. They understand. They are eager and willing to help out a noob. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to take people up on their offers. Ask for help and do it as often as you need to.

5.  Let him make mistakes. We all know that you are the mom and you know best (because you do!) but he is the dad and he needs to learn, too. Let him do it differently than you. It may make you cringe, want to step in and show him the "right" way, but don't. Your baby will be fine. Really.

6.  Use common sense. You are an intelligent woman. You've made it this far in your life by using your gut instincts and some common sense. Keep it up! Do what feels right to you. If it doesn't work the way you want it to, then try something different. Trust yourself and your mommy instincts.

7.  Try not to compare. Oh, this is a tough one. Let's be honest, we all do it. So and so's baby is sleeping through the night at 4 weeks, why doesn't my child? So and so is a mother, working, and lost all the baby weight and I'm struggling to not be in PJ's all day. Live your life, not theirs.

8.  Take what they say with a grain of salt. This ties in with #7. People lie. Yes, they LIE!! Mothers want to appear like they know what they're doing. Not everybody wants to admit their 16 month old is still not sleeping through the night or that they break down all.the.time. So, they don't.

9.  Enjoy the tough times, too. This is easier said than done. I know. In the thick of it, you are staring at the clock wishing for the minutes to tick by faster. You're trying to get to the next nap, the next meal, the next anything so that the crying stops and you get some rest. It will, before you know it.

10.  It's going to be okay. There will be great days, completely sh!tty days, days that you always want to remember and days that you can't wait to forget. You will want to stop time, wonder how you'll make it til 7pm, question everything you do and say and think "what happened to my life?"

But, it will all be okay.