So tired

All those all-nighters that I had in college doesn't hold a candle to the sleep deprivation that comes from taking care of a newborn. Granted, I'm not as young and resilient as I was back then, but there is just something about being up every 2-3 hours, and staying up for an unknown amount of time for weeks, that turns you into a zombie. My body is running on survival mode at this point.

I'm not even 3 weeks post-pregnancy and I'm just trying to hang on day by day. I know the first few months are the hardest. I keep staring at her and pray that I am doing the right thing for her. There are tears daily. I am not a crier and I've been pretty normal hormonally throughout the pregnancy, but it is just so overwhelming that tears just start flowing. I am feeling so many emotions at once.

I know it will get easier. She actually is a great baby compared to most. She cries when hungry, tired, changed, and cold. She will cry for no known reason (there is a reason, I just don't know what it is) once in a while, but overall, a really great baby. She is even taking to a schedule pretty well and sleeping 3-hour chunks at night. I know I got lucky with her and I'm so grateful to have her.

I miss sleep. Getting three 2-hr chunks of sleep is not the same as sleeping 6 hours. I would love to nap when she sleeps during the day, but considering I'm typing this with one hand while she sleeps in my arm that has gone numb, it is difficult to catch a few winks. Not to mention there is still laundry to do, lunch to eat, pee, and I'll be lucky to get in a quick shower before DH gets home.

As tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, hungry, sore, anything... as I am, all I have to do is look at her and know that I would not trade her for anything in the world. She makes eye contact with me, smiles her gas smiles at me, grabs my finger in her little hands, and snuggles up to me in my arms. I will gladly lose sleep any day to have her safe in my arms. She is worth all of this, and so much more.